


You Took My Bestfriend Away

by vanilla_and_tea



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Betrayal, Brothers, Emotional Manipulation, Family, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Manipulation, Other, Post-War, Recovery, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28413309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanilla_and_tea/pseuds/vanilla_and_tea
Summary: What if Tommy had barely hit his water bucket? What if he didn’t run away, but was found?What if his best friend didn’t care?(( a fic where Tommy is found by his older brother, and is safe for a while ))
Comments: 59
Kudos: 432





	1. Snow and Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghostbur takes a stroll in the snow, and makes his way back to his little brother.

_ It was quiet out here. _

That’s the first thing that Ghostbur noticed when he had gotten lost in the snow. Compared to the sewers, where he had heard the chatter of people who he wasn’t welcome around above, or even the outskirts of the Badlands, where he could hear the soft murmur of voices, it was serenely silent out here. Deadly quiet.

He’d like to go back to L’manburg, or somewhere warmer. Or, anywhere but here, really. Because it wasn’t the quiet that irritated him the most. Sure, it was nasty, and whenever he was in the quiet too long his brain tried to supply him with memories that kept his feeble mind up at night, but it wasn’t the worst. No. The thing that put in on him the most was the snow, and the searing agony it caused him. 

It was funny, really, he thought. Technically, he shouldn’t even really be able to  _ feel  _ anything! He was a ghost, after all. He should be doing ghosty things, like haunting capitalists, and wailing in bathrooms. Not getting lost and feeling like his skin is being slowly torn off of his uncorporeal body in the snow. 

But, despite being a ghost, Wilbur didn’t seem to do many ghost-like things. He couldn’t fly, or possess people. He didn’t have a mission to complete as far as he was aware, because he can’t remember anything. He didn’t remember much of his friends, or how his relationship with his son was.

_ “I didn’t even remember blowing up an entire nation,”  _ he thought silently to himself, “ _ And that seems like something I should’ve definitely remembered.” _

So here he was, alone and unghostlike, stuck in the snow all thanks to Dream. Speaking of Dream…..

Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? It’s just Dream. He doesn't remember anything about him, not really. He just gets a slight tangy taste of metal in what would be his mouth whenever he’s around. He also gets a really strong wash of something that  _ should _ be an emotion, but isn’t quite. Usually when that happens, he has to go away from him and Tommy. 

He sometimes feels bad about this, as Tommy seems to get agitated when he tries to leave, but Dream always promises he’ll stay right there and mind Tommy. Just like he promised to save Will the trouble of inviting people to the beach party. He always does so much for everyone, and is really very humble about it.

“ _ He’s even told me how much he likes Friend!”  _

Dream was quite sweet, now that Wilbur thought about it. 

Which is exactly why he was headed to him right now. He figures if he walks long enough in the snow, he’ll eventually find Tommy’s beach. Then he can ask Dream for something to protect himself from the snow, or maybe even ask Dream if he can build a house right next to Tommy’s! That way he’d never have to sit in the quiet, or the snow, again!

Dream might be a bit hesitant to that, seeing as he’s  _ extremely _ protective of Tommy. He should be fine with Wilbur being there though, seeing as he’s Tommy’s older brother and all. Or, rather  _ was  _ his older brother, when he was Alivebur. 

Yes, Dream would let us all stay together. When Dream leaves for the night, he and Tommy can build a little campfire, and they can sing songs together, like they used to! They’ll toast marshmallows, and tell stories, and-

_ “Oh?” _

Ghostbur let out a noise of shock as he stumbled upon a neat cottage in the middle of a clearing. From what he could see, turning to peer at the snow bitten trees surrounding him, the area was abandoned. Any tracks that would’ve been visible were long since covered up due to the constant snowfall. There was a faint hint of smoke mixed into the frosted air. And the cottage itself was very nicely put together, and well looked after.

There were bluebells and snowdrops lining up and down the flowerbeds, which were covered by small spruce shingles connected to the windowsills, leading all the way up to a neat stone porch. There was considerably less snow underneath the steps here, implying that someone had shoveled it out of the way quite recently, considering how heavily the snow was falling. 

  
  


There were icicles hanging from the windows, where the heat of the house met the sharp, wintery air of the outside. There seemed to be only one grand entrance up the smooth stone steps of the porch. A striking oak door stood clearly out from the white wintery wonderland that the surrounding area was made of.

He  _ could _ go in. Just let himself sit in the cosy looking house for a while. 

_ “But what would I do when the owner came back?” _

Well, better to beg forgiveness than ask permission, right?

_ “But what if the owner of the house isn’t fond of me?” _

Right. That could be an issue, especially if the owner wasn’t a nice person. He’d be better off ploughing through the storm, and getting to Tommy’s tent as fast as possible. He missed company. He needs company really quite badly right now.

Strolling past the house, he paused for a moment to look at the bluebells. 

_ “Blue, just like Friend. Maybe I should bring some back to Tommy. He’s decorating the area, at the moment. It could liven up the place a bit” _

He leaned down, and grabbed a handful. And then he  _ screamed _ . 

The snow felt like  _ lava.  _ He hated it, he hated it, he  **hated** it. 

Leaping away, he crossly walked to the outskirt of the clearing, towards Tommy’s house. Feeling guilty, he turned back to the house, and muttered a small “ _ sorry _ ” to the plants. It wasn’t their fault they had snow on them, after all.

Ghostbur strolled, and laughed, and sang the whole way back to the beach. He said hello to the bees for Tubbo, he stopped and sniffed the flowers for Niki, and he made sure to give a wave to the fish for Sally. He petted any sheep he saw on the way for…

_ For…… _

For Friend! That had to be who he was doing this for. He did it despite the hurt of the snow. He had to. He couldn’t be selfish anymore, after all. No time to do anything for himself when there were so many other people who needed his help!

Will reached the beach about an hour later, just in time. Any longer and he thinks he might’ve collapsed in the snow! He didn’t realise how much he had missed the sensation of not being constantly weighed down and scorched by the tiny droplets of frozen rain. 

Skipping along the path, he pulled out the red poppies (that were free from snow) that he’d grabbed on the way over. He could give them to Tommy, and then he’d have some flowers to match his shirt! Him and Tommy were going to have an amazing time. He hoped Dream wasn’t there, because he wanted to talk to Tommy about the snow and what it did to him, and he didn’t want Dream to feel bad. 

Speaking of, where was Tommy? Usually, Will was able to hear his incessant screeching by now. Maybe he went for a wander? Or perhaps Dream moved him somewhere new. He had said he wasn’t a huge fan of the decorations Tommy had put around the place.

_ Ah!  _ There was Tommy! He was laying still under a gigantic tower, surrounded by water.  _ Hm.  _ Tommy usually made these things out of cobble.

_ “Maybe he’s moved onto a different favourite block,”  _ Ghostbur chuckled to himself. 

“Tommy!” Ghostbur called out, taking a few bounding steps towards his little brother, slowing slightly when he got no reaction.

_ “He gets so lost in his own thoughts sometimes!” _

“Tom?” 

Ghostbur slowed to a stop when he saw that Tommy wasn’t relaxing in this small makeshift pool. 

No.

No, Tommy was lying, face up, and unmoving. No twitching came from him, unusual for the typically lively young boy. He lay, pale and still, in the rose-tinted water around him

The floor spun around Ghostbur, and everything was suddenly so deafeningly quiet. 

_ Wilbur had never fancied the quiet _ . 

“Oh god, Tom.” 

“What have you done?”


	2. The Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno returns home from a quiet day at his farm with Phil, expecting a nice and quiet evening.
> 
> But life has never been kind to him before, and it's not going to start now

Techno took his time strolling back from his farm. He didn’t have much peace these days, what with the voices in his head and all. Usually, they roared at him no matter what task he did, whether it be gaming, or target practice, or even just eating his soup. The same phrase would echo around his mind, again and again and  _ again;  _ **_Blood for the Blood God._ **

Now, however, the voices were silent. They tended to calm down when he was around Phil, and they shut up when he was around nature. Well, he  _ thought  _ they shut up when he was in nature, but frankly he wasn’t sure. He tended to get extremely focused when he was gardening, being able to completely zone out, get out of his own head, that kinda thing. It explains why his garden was so well-tended to. He could practically complete his garden routine in his sleep at this point. It was always the same, every day. A repetitive task, but one he enjoyed nonetheless. 

Techno had been cautious when going to and from his farm for the past couple of weeks. There was a rumour about that there was a group named “The Butcher’s Army” out for his head. He wasn’t too bothered with this, he  _ was  _ the best PVPer in the land. He figured he was more than capable of handling himself, even retired. 

No, the issue was Phil. Don’t take it the wrong way, Phil is an extremely smart and strong man. He’s shown that time and time again, and trained it into all of his sons. Basic things, like survival skills, but also things slightly more complex, such as the art of swords fighting, how to pick locks, how to set traps. You know, normal children stuff. 

But Techno was no fool. He knew firsthand how dangerous his family could be. Take Will, for example. 

Techno knew the signs of insanity. He saw them in his brother, long before they’d taken hold of him. He just hadn't expected it to happen in the way that it did. 

Will had always been sensitive to rejection, but Techno figured Tommy could handle his dramatics after he’d lost the election. He hadn’t really expected them to be exiled, and he definitely hadn’t expected Will to spiral this much out of control. But by the time he realised what was going on, Will was far too gone for him to be able to do anything to help. He was set in his idea of exploding “Manburg”, to take down the government and effectively destroy whatever hope was left of the dream that was L’Manburg. 

Techno was all for destroying the government. It didn’t work on the SMP, and it had been proven that it didn’t work in Manburg, with Schlatt being so corrupt that every single one of his citizens turned on him, and he could excuse the murder of a couple of people. It would probably help the country in the long run, having less people to look after. But-

But Tommy. His issue with the plan Will had constructed, was Tommy. Techno had seen the look on Tommy’s face after the festival, the look of absolute agony and hatred, and the look of sheer horror and disgust that was directed at him. That feeling was horrid, and Techno had always felt so different around Tommy from that point onwards.

Techno had killed Tubbo (and quite literally everyone else) to keep both sides as calm as possible. If he hadn’t shot Tubbo, Schlatt would’ve sent an army after  _ him _ , and Techno would’ve made an enemy of a president. A weak one, sure, but at that time he wasn’t too sure which side he stood on. It’s always good to keep your possible allyship options open, after all. 

But Tommy couldn’t  _ see _ that. He was too young, too single-minded. 

“ _ He shouldn’t  _ _ have _ _ to see that. He’s a child. He deserves to have the chance to be single minded _ ,” 

That was the thought that echoed through his head every time he came back to this topic. But Tommy had lost the chance to be a normal child the second Will had roped him into creating a rebellion against someone who’s practically a god. People had tried to warn him off joining Will’s side, but Tommy’s always been loyal until the very end. 

“ _ Let it be on Will’s head for starting the train of ruining our baby brother.” _

Because Will  _ knew,  _ just as well as Techno did, that once you’ve managed to convince Tommy that something is truly right and just, that this thing will  _ help others  _ and, especially,  _ help Tubbo,  _ there was no stopping him. He would do the thing, no matter the cost to himself. As long as him and Tubbo could stick together, he was content, and Will  _ knew  _ this. But instead of trying to protect his brother, as Techno had subtly done all his teenage years, he’d so often taken advantage of it. In his plan this time, Tommy wasn’t his brother, or his comrade, or his second in command. Tommy was a tool used to get what he wanted. Utter chaos and destruction.

And yet, Techno had gotten all the blame for Tubbo’s death pushed on him. Because it didn’t matter to Tommy that Will had been behind the scenes, practically directing the show. No, Techno’s hand had been the one to fire, even if it had been forced. And, therefore, he was entirely to blame.

Which wasn’t  _ fair.  _ He’d tried to explain to Tommy that it wasn’t his fault, but the kid wouldn’t  _ listen, he never listened.  _ So set in his own ways, and then the fight happened, and Techno was back in his 16 year old self’s body, sparring with Will, and the voices telling him to kill,  _ kill, _ **_kill-_ **

Shaking his head frantically from the top of his horse, Techno steadied his breathing. 

“ _ No, not right now,”  _ he thought to himself. “ _ Calm yourself, steady your breathing, and tuck it away. You can deal with your emotions later, at a busier time. You’re going to be  _ **_calm_ ** _ right now, and enjoy the peace and quiet.” _

Looking out at the white wonderland ahead of him, Techno brought his mind back to the farm, and his soft routine. It usually went as follows.

  * **The Garden**



Techno started off his routine with a short walk through Phil’s flower garden. He spent half an hour here, pulling up small weeds, spritzing the wildflowers with a soft watery mist. It always set him up for a calm time at the gardens, as it reminded him of when he was small, filling up plant pots with soil to help grow the new spring plants with Tommy. 

Sometimes, Techno would bring a book out here with him, or his violin. His thoughts tended to get too loud when unchecked for too long, and so it helped to have a distraction if Phil wasn’t there. 

  * **Checking in with Phil**



After a short rest in the garden, Techno would go for a brief wander to try and wake himself up from the calm haze he had found himself in. After all, he had a lot of enemies currently. He couldn’t afford to be too calm, always needing to keep his eyes somewhat open, his defenses always raised. Even when he was meant to be relaxing 

Techno would usually run into Phil on this walk. They’d stop for a while, and Phil would usually supply a flask of tea, or muffins from Niki’s bakery, or some other form of food. He never mentioned why, but Techno knew the reason. Despite being grown up, Phil still hadn’t stopped seeing Techno through the eyes of when he was younger. He still felt the need to protect him, and feed him, as if he were a child. 

This used to bother him, but now he didn’t quite mind as much. But he’d never admit that of course. 

After this brief intermission of work, Phil would try to convince Techno to let him accompany him home at the end of the day. Sometimes he said yes, sometimes he said no. Sometimes, he said no, and Phil joined him anyways. 

Today, he had declined Phil’s offer. 

  * **The Potato Garden**



After a brief chat and check in with Phil, Techno would make his way over to the potato gardens. He’d water the newly plotted potatoes, he’d water the ones that needed watering, and he’d lose himself in the work. 

Repetitive tasks satisfied him, and he could often spend 2 or 3 hours there, just tending to his garden, getting small tasks done. If Phil wasn’t there to remind him to go home before the heavy snowfall started at night, he’s not sure he actually would. It’s a miracle he hasn't built a little shack to sleep in down here yet.

  
  


After this, Techno usually takes one final lap of the area, pulling up weeds that need to be pulled, making sure any wild foxes around the area are fed so that they don’t start nibbling on his crops, saying that he’s leaving to Phil and-

Tracks. There are tracks leading up to his house. 

Techno froze. There couldn’t be tracks here. Every morning, he left as little tracks as possible, so that by the time he reached the outskirts of the dead forest, nobody would be able to tell what direction he’d gone in. 

Taking a lungful of frost-bitten air, Techno hopped down from Karl, and tied him to one of the nearest spruce trees he could find. 

“Damnit,” he silently swore under his breath. Today had been the one day that he hadn’t bothered to wear his gloves, and he was paying for that dearly now while tying the brittle rope around the tree. He’d have rope burns on his wrists by the time he was done, and his fingers would be cramped up due to the sugary snow coating the branch he was tying the makeshift leash to. 

“ _ Idiot. Serves you right for not being prepared for this. You got too calm, too safe in your own little bubble.” _

Not for the first time today, Techno had to beat these thoughts down and out of his head. 

_ Clear your mind, take a breath, calm yourself. _

_ “Nothing we can do about that now. Best examine these tracks, murder whoever tries to rouse me out of my retirement, clean up, and have a lovely,  _ **_calm_ ** _ dinner.” _

Slowly trudging over to the tracks that were left, Techno drew out his sword and attached a health potion to his belt,  _ just in case _ . 

Examining the tracks, he could tell they were recent. The snow was falling at a steady pace, so he determined that they had probably been made in the past half hour or so. Which meant that whoever it was was  _ still in his house. _

He was suddenly very glad he hadn’t brought Phil back with him today.

Looking closer at the imprinted snow, Techno began to get confused. At first, he had thought that the tracks he saw were tracks from a sled, or from his cape dragging along the ground from earlier, but looking around the cold and glacial plane he was sat in, he couldn’t make out any footprints, and his tracks had been long since covered up. 

“ _ Was someone dragged down into my house? How did someone find my house?” _

Puzzled, and slightly more relaxed, Techno stood up, and with sword in hand, made his way over to his front door. There was no-one peeking in the windows, thank god, so he didn’t pull out his shield.

Whether or not the intruder was intending to kill him or not was slightly irrelevant at this point. He was cold and damp from the frost outside, his cloak sat heavy on his aching shoulders, and he was hungry. He hadn’t eaten breakfast, and Phil had only brought tea today. Also, the probably more long-term pressing matter was that someone  _ knew _ where his house was now. The whole point of living in the middle of nowhere is that nobody except the people you allow can visit you, but apparently some people just didn’t get the memo.

**_Kill. Kill,kill,kill,killkillkillkillkill-_ **

**“** Shut. Up!” Techno threatened through gritted teeth. 

Gripping the iced door handle of the giant oak door of his home, Techno tensed up. In one swift movement, he had sung open the door, slammed it shut, and glided into his home. Whoever was in here definitely knew that he had come home. 

Hearing a movement in his living room, Techno sprinted inside, shield raised. Swinging his sword out to the intruder, he stopped with a jolt right before the blade made contact, much to the dismay to the roaring and bloodthirsty voices in his head.

Seeing the near-non corporeal figure shiver due to the blade at his neck, Techno glanced down at the sofa. And then he immediately wished that he had  _ not _ looked down at the sofa.

“Wilbur,” Techno started, sounding strained and exhausted at the same time. “Why is Tommy unconscious on my sofa?”

  
  


“Well! First of all, I, um, I didn’t really know this was  _ your _ sofa, I mean I thought it could be anyone’s sofa, like um, I knew there was a  _ chance _ it was your sofa, but I didn’t think um…” Ghostbur trailed off his stutter, seeing the daggers that Techno was metaphorically shooting into his eyes, and then picked it back up as soon as he could. 

“W-well, uh, second! Second of all! Um, it’s sorta kinda a long story so if you wanna take the sword away from my neck and sit down, maybe-”

“You’ve got thirty seconds,” Techno said through a grimace, slightly irked that he was being offered to sit on his  _ own _ couch, that he couldn’t even sit in, because it was currently occupied by his  _ other _ brother, bruised and battered as he was, and-

Wait.  _ Bruised and battered? _

Digging his sword further into the crook of Ghostbur’s neck, and effectively cutting off the stuttered apologies he was making, Techno choked out a vicious warning to his twin.

“You’re going to tell me what the fuck you did to Tommy, and then I’m going to dig this sword out of your neck, and drive it right through your cowardly-”

Then, as if the day couldn't get any worse, Techno heard the door swing open from behind him. Spinning, fast as a blur, drawing out his loaded crossbow, sword still pressed up into Will’s neck, he saw Phil, standing with an unamused and almost scolding look on his face. 

“ _ Well,” _ Phil said in a completely monotonous voice. “So much for a peaceful family reunion.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god there's a lot of people interested in this fic!!! Thank you all so much for the support! 
> 
> I hope you all had an amazing and safe new years, and here's to a better 2021.
> 
> \- Cece


	3. The New L'Manburg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo is now the happy ruler of L'Manburg, and everything is going well. He couldn't ask for more.
> 
> But just like every cloud has its silver lining, the opposite is true too. Tubbo is finding that out in a harsh way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've found out that the song "Michelle" by Sir Chloe matches Tubbo's arc perfectly at the moment and I don't know how to take that. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy! <3

_I’m finally happy._

This is the phrase that Tubbo could say, without a trace of doubt in his mind. This was a relief to him, as for the past couple of months he hadn't been able to say anything with 100% confidence, what with the traitor in their group and the chaos that followed. But now, with Wilbur gone, the country his, and his friends by his side, Tubbo felt indestructible. He knew that whatever challenges were to come, he’d be able to face them head on, and solve them the old L’Manburg way. No more fighting, no more wars. He’d honour the foundations that this country was built on, and solve things with his words. With the country’s words. 

Stepping out onto the freshly cut grass, feeling the warm and hazy sun fall onto his shoulders, Tubbo looked around his home. The home that he had built up from the ground, and took in the view of his friends, his citizens, wandering around. Chatting, laughing, enjoying themselves. 

“ _We’ve been through so much together,”_ he thought to himself while strolling down the main roads of inner L'Manburg, giving Quackity a wave on the way, “ _I think we deserve to be happy at last.”_

Taking in a chest full of fresh air, and smelling the faint wisps of whatever new creation Niki has cooked up in it, Tubbo mentally revised over his checklist for the day, and found there wasn’t anything to do. At the last cabinet meeting, Fundy and Quackity couldn’t come up with any complaints for him. Everyone was happy, living in peace and harmony. 

“Things couldn’t be better, Tubbo,” Quackity had said to him.

_Couldn’t be better._ That thought made Tubbo’s heart swell with pride. Everyone was happy, and everyone was content with the country. With _him._ He and many others may have faced hardships with the past rulers, but they’d finally gotten a good one. He hopes to keep the country like this. 

“ _Might as well go hang out with Tommy for the day, seeing as there’s not much else for me to do.”_ At this, Tubbo felt all the tension drain from his shoulders. _Tommy._ He hadn’t had the chance to spend much time with his friend in oh so long. Being a president was hard work, and Tommy had been working on a new project with Ranboo recently, so they hadn’t had much of a chance to speak. 

Strolling up to Tommy’s front door, directly opposite Ninja’s house, which was now overrun by weeds and vines, and quite possibly the home of a couple stray animals, Tubbo smiled. 

“It’s quiet,” he muttered to himself under his breath. “Must still be asleep.”

Swinging Tommy’s door wide open, as he often left it unlocked, Tubbo began to laugh. 

“Wakey-wakey, Big Man!” he roared, storming straight into his bedroom. “It’s almost time for lunch-” 

He cut off with a start, as Tommy wasn’t actually in his bed. 

“ _Huh,”_ he thought quizzically. “ _I didn’t see him on the way down here. I wonder where he is?”_

After completing one final lap of the blonde boy’s home, Tubbo determined that he wasn’t hiding from him, and was probably out and about. 

_“That’s fine, just hafta go find him I guess!”_

Opening the front door, and closing the door as tightly as he could, Tubbo left the house, spinning around when he heard a familiar voice go 

“Hey Big Man!”

Tubbo spun, a laugh on his lips, when he realised that Tommy wasn’t standing behind him. _Huh._

“Up here, Tubbo!” Tommy yelled again. 

Looking up, Tubbo saw his best friend, armourless and grinning, on top of one of the biggest cobblestone towers he had seen in his life. It didn’t look like he had any items on him from down here, and there wasn’t any water around. 

Feeling panic begin to slowly creep it’s way into his bones, Tubbo examined the tower more closely. It was too thin to have any sort of redstone contraption hidden underneath it to make a smooth landing. There weren’t any ladders in sight, either. 

  
  


“Tommy, what are you doing up there?” Tubbo roared up to his friend. “That doesn't look very safe-”

He was cut off with a laugh coming from the younger boy. 

“Oh, shut up Tubbo. If you didn’t want this to happen, why would you put me up here in the first place?”

Tubbo looked up in a daze, not understanding what Tommy was saying.

“I didn’t put you up there? Tommy I haven’t seen you all day, why are you-”

“All day? Tubbo, think. When was the last time you saw me?” Tommy spat out through a manic grin. 

Tubbo felt like he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t like where this was going, not in the slightest. He saw the rest of L'Manburg gather around him, staring silently at the scene around him, Quackity and Fundy at the front. He kept looking from face to face, trying to gather any emotion from anyone, trying to figure out what he’d done, and what was happening. But he only received blank stares in return. 

Looking back up to Tommy, he felt speechless. It didn’t seem to matter what he said, Tommy wouldn't come back down.

Tommy opened his mouth again, giving a bitter laugh, and he roared out loud enough for everyone in the surrounding area to hear:

“For you, and from you, Big T!”

And with that, Tubbo watched his brother, his friend, his partner in crime, leap from the top of the tower, and he fell, and fell, and fell, and-

And then there was screaming in Tubbo’s ears, in his face, all around him. He could hear it, but couldn’t make out most of what was being said. He heard Quackity, roaring at him about trust, and Fundy was speaking venomously, calling him Schlatt. 

_Schlatt._ From then on, it was all he could hear, echoed over and over and over again. _Schlatt, Schlatt, Schlatt._ He could practically hear his laughter. No, he _could_ hear his laughter. _Behind him._

Tubbo pushed away from everyone, and turned as fast as the crowd around him would allow. He saw Niki, and George, and Ranboo, all there yelling at him. And then, standing behind him in all his drunken glory, was Schlatt. Bruised, and burnt, and bleeding.

“Love what you’ve done to the place, son,” Schlatt slurred through a smirk, “But I’m gonna need my country back.”

Jolting upwards, Tubbo found himself back in his room, in the dark. Alone, and safe, and not being yelled at. 

That didn’t help his mind, though. He still felt like he couldn’t breathe, that he was being _watched_ , and _judged-_

Leaping out of his too-warm bed sheets, Tubbo stumbled his way over to the window, throwing open his heavy curtains, and swinging the cold window wide open. 

Listening to the wind, he tried to match his breathing to the shaking of the trees underneath him. Skimming back over his memory, he tried to remember the advice Will had given him the first time this had happened.

_In for five, hold for three, out for five. Again. In for five, hold for three, out for five._

He repeated this again and again, looking out over the land he ruled. Nobody was around at this hour. Quackity had left to go be with Sapnap, Karl and George in El Rapids. Niki and Fundy were off trying to make their own land. Ranboo was gone somewhere, and Tommy-

Tommy was exiled. _Right._

Rubbing his hands over his now dry eyes, Tubbo shivered. It was so cold in L'Manburg now. It seemed like there was a never leaving chill in the air at all times. He’d taken to wearing coats wherever he went to avoid catching a cold. He hated stuffed noses.

His breathing calmed down sometime soon after that. He continued following his older brother’s advice until his hands had stopped shaking, and he was able to think clearly again. Drawing the window in, he left it open a crack. Cold or no, he liked having a bit of a draught in the place. 

Carefully trodding his way back to his bed, Tubbo turned on his fairy lights that he and Tommy had hung up a few months prior. They didn’t really go with the aesthetic of the room by now, but he enjoyed having them up nonetheless. They reminded him of a good memory. 

Lying back down onto his now icy smooth sheets, Tubbo massaged his temples, up beside his horns. They had been aching for the past couple of days, and no matter what potions he took for them, they wouldn’t stop sending a blinding wave of pain through his head. 

“Maybe that’s what caused the bloody nightmare,” he grumbled to himself, squeezing his eyes tightly. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get to sleep with the lights on, and they were irritating him, but he couldn’t turn them off just yet. He needed them on. He could practically hear Techno calling him a pussy, just like he had all through his “scared-of-the-dark” phase, but he kept them on. _Nobody around to tell him otherwise now._

Closing his eyes, and turning onto his side, Tubbo couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with Tommy. It was probably very influenced by the dream, but still. He had a sinking feeling in his gut. 

He was honestly quite shocked Tommy hadn’t tried to sneak back into L’Manburg yet. Usually if there was something he wanted, there was no stopping him from trying to get it. And, yeah, maybe he had been a bit harsh with his friend, exiling him and all, but he really didn’t have a choice. He’s sure if Tommy slipped away from Dream, and came back for a few minutes, he could figure something out. Probably. 

_“He doesn’t_ **_want_ ** _to come back. You threw him out, you dickhead. He will_ **_never_ ** _come back. Let’s just hope he doesn’t spiral out of control, like he’s done every single other time something like this has happened. Like how he almost jumped out of a tree when Techno ignored him for a week. Or how he went for a walk along the train tracks when Wilbur screamed and banned him from his and Techno’s attic base after he almost brought the place down on himself when he broke the beams. You know, spirals that_ **_you_ ** _had to help him out of. I’m sure nothing like that will happen again,”_ a voice in his head spat at him.

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut for a moment, Tubbo sighed and choked back tears. He had made the right decision. He _had_ to have made the right decision. Tommy had to learn that he couldn’t just do whatever he wanted. 

Looking up at the cat clock he had on his wall, he read the time. 5am. _Great._

Sighing once more, Tubbo rolled out of bed. 

“ _Might as well have an early start. It’ll get bright soon, and I can go see Tommy. Just to check. Just to be sure.”_

  
  



	4. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy wakes up comfortable and warm, for once. And if that doesn't ring alarm bells in his head, he doesn't know what will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Major Suicide/Implied Suicide warning for this chapter!!!***  
> Nothing more than what was in the Smp videos, but I still feel like I should give a warning, just in case.

Warmth. Warmth is the first thing he felt when he first began to regain consciousness. It was something he hadn’t felt for such a long time, and something he had longed for. He had a silky, woollen blanket draped over him, and a comfortable sofa underneath him. Tommy could finally breathe in and out, feeling warm and solid and comforted. A few extra minutes in his hazy half slumber, and then he could get up and start the days work.

Trying to slowly pull himself back into his own head, Tommy became aware of a voice-no, not  _ a _ voice, multiple voices. But-but what were they saying? He couldn’t make it out in the slightest, only able to pick up the gentle hum of their words flowing over his ears. Surely it didn’t matter, anyways. If it was an emergency, someone would wake him up pretty soon. Tubbo, or Fundy. Someone would let him know what was up. He could stay asleep for a few minutes longer. 

And with that thought, he began to let his mind wander to other things. He wasn’t too sure when he’d crawled into bed the night before, as he only had a vague idea of what had happened. He remembers playing in the water, but not much else. He must’ve had a pretty good time in there, if that’s all he can remember.

His mind once again drifting from topic to topic, Tommy’s hearing focused in on a certain noise. Soft sizzling, coming from beside him. He couldn’t make out much of a smell right now, but maybe it was something being cooked in the kitchen? He’s usually pretty good at guessing what’s being cooked from the  _ amount _ of sizzle it makes, so he attempts to push past the light headache that’s sneaking its way into his eyebrows, and focuses. 

_ “It sounds almost like….popping. Like a popping sizzle, or-” _

Tommy’s train of thought pauses there, trying to decipher what he had heard. It was getting increasingly harder to ignore the voices that were chattering beside him, their tone increasing more and more by the minute. He still couldn’t make out many words, but in his defence, he was busy trying to hear the crackle of the fire, and-

_Fire._ _Fire in L’Manburg._ That was the first thought that entered the small blonde’s head. Panic enveloping his entire being within seconds, Tommy tried to wiggle, to move, to do _anything_ in this frozen state he seemed to be in, but to no avail. He wasn’t able to move a bit, and he wasn't able to open his eyes either. Seemingly frozen solid, Tommy was forced to face his thoughts. 

Tearing through his brain, he came to the logical reasoning that he wasn’t at L’Manburg. That place had been blown up  _ weeks _ ago at this stage, and so there was no possible way that he was there. 

_ “I was exiled from there weeks ago. I am not at L’Manburg. There is absolutely  _ **_zero_ ** _ chance that I’m there, unless someone brought me there in my sleep. And I don't think anyone in their right mind would do that. Unless I'm being used as a bargaining chip again.” _

But if he wasn’t at the L’Manburg explosion, why was there fire? He made sure not to put his torches too near to his tent, specifically to avoid being roasted alive. He had made _ 100% sure _ to snuff out the campfire every night. At least he thought he had. The only possible way that his tent could’ve caught ablaze is if Dream had lit it up for a joke. But-

But he wasn’t at his tent, was he? He surely couldn’t be, as there were too many people around him. Where was he then? He didn’t remember leaving Logstedshire at all in the past few days…...At least, he thinks he didn’t? 

Honestly, Tommy couldn’t remember much of the past few  _ hours _ , let alone days. Hell, he wasn’t even fucking sure what he’d done yesterday. So how the fuck did he end up here, wherever  _ here _ was?

_ ‘So many fucking questions,’  _ he could practically hear Dream scold him. He needed to hear if Dream was here at all. Sure, he might be given out to for being where he was, but at least nothing too bad would happen to him. He just hopes his disk doesn’t take the fall for him. That would be quite unfortunate. 

He needed answers, and he needed them quite soon if he was gonna save his own skin. After all, if Dream  _ wasn’t  _ here, he’d have to make up a pretty good excuse for what had happened and why he had gone missing. 

Wait. 

_“Missing?_ _Am I missing? Why am I-”_

Tommy cut off this thought with a slight jolt of his shoulders. Being unable to open his eyes still, he could see every scene from the past few days play out before his mind. 

He remembers the argument he had with Dream. All of his shit being blown up because he couldn’t follow a  _ simple _ rule. He remembers being terrified for himself, and for his disks, not knowing if either would survive to the next day.

He remembers shouting at Dream and Dream shouting right back.

He remembers climbing a tower made out of  _ dirt _ , for fucks sake. 

He remembers feeling on top of the world, somehow lording over it while feeling completely detached. He knew he could rule the world if he felt the tiniest bit like it. And nobody, nobody,  _ nobody _ would have been able to stop him. Nothing else around him mattered, just him, and his tower, and his corner of the world that  **he** was in charge of. He was unstoppable in that moment, and  **_nothing else in the entire world mattered, not even him_ ** **.**

He remembers jumping, a wild grin on his face, knowing not even Dream could stop him now.

And then he remembers his survival instincts kicking in, god be damned. And he remembers feeling the bone chilling  _ terror _ that came with his half-flight, scrambling to grab his water, no longer feeling immortal, feeling  _ fear _ and he wasn’t ready to die yet,  _ he was just a kid, fuckfuck _ **_fuck please let me put the water down-_ **

He remembers a splash, and then nothing. Nothing until he woke up to the crinkling of fire in his ears.

He was twitching now, suddenly very, very cold and feeling very, very small. He needed to leave from wherever he was, needed to get back to Dream before nightfall, needed to figure out how long he had been gone, and needed to figure out who he was with, and, and, and-

“He’s moving.”

Tommy heard a familiar voice say, silencing the other two that were chattering at each other. Was that-

No. No it couldn’t be Wilbur. Wilbur was dead. He'd seen him die. Ghostbur then?

“So it seems."

He heard light footfall make its way over to where he was lying down, and then he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. 

"Tommy? Tommy can you hear us?” Phil spoke softly, crouching down beside his son's face.

Pushing through his splitting headache, Tommy pried his eyes open, and shut them again when he saw stars.

_ “C’mon, Innit. Open your eyes. Don’t be a pussy” _

Once again, forcing his eyes open, Tommy got a clearer, if still blurry, view of those around him. Casting his eyes from corner to corner of the room, he could make out that he was in a house of some sort, and that he was lying down on a soft red couch beside a grand fireplace, surrounded by Ghostbur, Philza and Techno. His family-

No. Not his family. His  _ blood relations _ . 

Blinking quite heavily, Tommy tried to focus on the elder man crouched beside him. There seemed to be three of him in view, but maybe that was just his concussion talking. Opening his mouth he tried to make a sound, but all he could manage was a small “eh?”

His mouth felt like it was full of lead, and his head was full of water. It was at this moment that Tommy became fully aware of how bone-achingly  _ tired _ he actually was. Every single part of him ached, from head to toe. His shoulders were tensed up, and his wrists hurt. He could feel bruises on his ribs, and he had definitely sprained one, if not both of his ankles.  _ Christ. _ He shouldn’t feel this bad, he shouldn’t feel this at all. He wasn’t meant to be able to feel the consequences of this. 

_ “Hah. Tried to be selfish one last time, huh Tom? Couldn’t handle the pressure, huh? What would Tubbo think, you selfish prick.” _

Locking eyes with Phil again, he tried to open his mouth once more. But this time, his thoughts were too much. He was so scared, and felt so frail, and he just couldn’t deal with things right now. 

So Tommy opened his mouth, took one big, deep breath in, and started to sob.

Immediately, he felt a strong, warm pair of arms wrap around his body, And it  _ ached, _ his bones crying out even more for being moved. But right now, it was the only thing in the entire world he wanted. He hadn’t been hugged in so, so long. He hadn’t had the comfort of anyone else in weeks, months maybe. He didn’t deserve it, as far as he (and anyone else around him) could tell.

And yeah, maybe he didn’t deserve it. But right here, right now, Tommy didn’t care what he did or didn’t deserve. He was safe, in his Dad’s arms, and he felt calmer than he had in a long long time. 

Hearing soft coos be whispered into his ear while Phil caressed soft circles into his back Tommy heaved. He cried about his exile, he cried for Wilbur, he cried for everything that he’d lost in the past few months, and everything else that he had yet to lose. He let his thoughts turn into tears, and he let them all come pouring out.

Ignoring the concerned glances that Will and Techno were pointing at him, and giving to each other, Tommy leaned into his Dad, burying his head into the crook of his neck until he saw the small white dots he normally only sees when he gets hit in the head with a football, and tried to hide from the world, to bury his every worry and bad feeling under him. 

“Shh, Tom, it’s okay, you’re okay, you’re safe right now. You don’t need to talk to us right now if you don’t want to, we can talk later. What you need right now is rest. You’re okay, Tommy. You’re okay now,” Phil spoke softly to him, trying his best to steady his son’s shaking shoulders. Running his hands through the youngest’s hair, he made a mental note to get him a shower, and a hairbrush as soon as possible.  _ He looks so fragile, and so broken at the same time. _

And so Tommy cried, and cried, and cried in his Dad’s arms until he collapsed into slumber yet again. And for the first time in months, he felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Sleepyboys Inc stans, how are we feeling after the most recent arc, and does your therapist know about all of these youtubers names yet? 
> 
> Currently, I am in shambles, but that’s what fix it fics are for, right? I hope you guys enjoy the small bit of familial content I can supply you with. 
> 
> On a side note, if any of you are interested in Romeo and Juliet, my friend has written a modern day au of it!! You can find that fic at @theofficialsiriusblacksimp 's account!


	5. The Bakery, The River and the Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo takes break, and finally goes to see his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before this chapter starts, I'd like to personally apologise to all Techno kinnies/apologists. Oopsies.

_ Another meeting. Another day being spent inside the bleak walls of his cabinet, writing out rules and regulations, making sure the country runs smoothly. Because heaven forbid he got a break, or that the literal fucking adults who live here could take care of themselves for one god damn day. _

That had been the thought that had crossed Tubbo’s mind every single morning for the past 3 weeks. He’d wake up, and get dressed into his suit and tie, and pour himself breakfast, then not eat his breakfast because his stomach was turning with nerves. He’d do a mental tally of everything that had happened the day before, and then another one for any arguments or bad conversations he’d had with the citizens of his country. Minute after minute, he’d spend staring at his wall and trying to figure out if he’d given anyone reason to hurt him, or to cause a disruption. 

He usually hadn’t, as these days he tended to keep to himself.  _ Can’t piss people off if you haven’t spoken to them _ , he figured. Even still, his stomach would be doing pirouettes first thing in the morning. He could never quite shake the feeling that he’d messed something up, that he’d broken an agreement he’d made with someone recently, but he hadn’t. He  _ knew _ he was being irrational, and paranoid, and that none of these thoughts made sense. But he was in charge of a country now, and he had to be responsible, to be an adult. 

This meant that every day before he left, he stocked himself up with a crossbow, hidden behind his suit.  _ Just in case _ , he told himself. He’d never use it unless he had to, trying to stick true to the original rules of L’Manburg, but it eased his mind, and made his hands shake just a little less until he returned to his empty house in the late hours of the night.

“-ubbo? What do you think about that?”

Quackity’s voice roused him out of his daydream state that he’d been in. Blinking heavily, and glancing around to see the others in his cabinet, Fundy and Ranboo, staring at him intently and waiting for his input.  _ Shit.  _ What was this meeting about again? Why hadn’t he been listening? Christ, he had  _ one _ job to do, literally just  _ sit there _ and  _ listen,  _ and he couldn’t even do that properly-

“Tubbo, you alright?” This question had come from Fundy, who was currently re-adjusting his hat so that it sat more comfortably on his head.  _ Fundy has sensitive ears,  _ he remembered Will telling him that before.  _ He can’t handle noises that are too loud, they send him into a panic. He doesn’t like creepers for that reason. And- _

And he was sidetracked again, and hadn’t answered that question. 

“Mhm, yup. I’m good,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, “Sorry, Big Q, what was the question?”

Quackity looked concerned, but continued nonetheless. “I was asking about your opinion on the execution plan for Techno? Are you down with giving us the go ahead?”

“T-The what?” Tubbo stutters out. “N-No, what the hell Quackity. We are  **not** doing an execution. I told you this yesterday, that I-”

_ ‘That I’m not running this country how Schlatt ran it’  _ was what Tubbo wanted to say as he broke off his sentence. But that wouldn’t be fair to either himself or Quackity, so instead he finishes it with, 

“I don’t agree with unnecessary murder. We aren’t in a position to be making enemies currently.”

Quackity slammed his fist down on the table in front of him, standing up and pushing his chair back. Tubbo jumped at this, hand sliding down his calve to where he had a dagger hidden in his trouser leg. It wasn’t that he thought Quackity would hurt him, but well.

Never hurt to be too prepared. 

“Bullshit! That’s such bullshit, Tubbo, and you know it! Techno is a monster who has committed countless crimes against the state, time and time again. Not only that, but thinking of it personally, he not only executed you, acting under Schlatt’s orders, but he then murdered Tommy when he tried to fight back-”

“ _ You shut your  _ **_damn_ ** _ mouth,”  _ Tubbo roared at the man standing in front of him. “Technoblade killed me under Schlatt’s orders, sure. But you were standing right up on that stage beside him, doing nothing but mocking me as I was yelling for an explanation. You didn’t move to help, and you probably would’ve executed me too if Schlatt batted his pretty little eyelids at you. I don’t want to hear  _ shit _ from you right now. We aren’t executing Techno. We’ll write a letter and tell him he’s to come in for questioning and to answer for his crimes. We are  _ not _ needlessly murdering anyone. Meeting adjourned.”

And with that, Tubbo stood up from his long table, ignoring the paled faces of Fundy and Ranboo, and stormed out of the room, not giving Quackity a second glance. 

_ Fuck. _ He couldn’t have said anything else in that moment? He just had to remind Quackity about the time he was under Schlatt’s control.  _ Fuck _ .

Throwing open the heavy steel doors, and feeling as if the iron underneath the palms of his hands were as hot as lava, Tubbo ran down and out onto the grass path. He wasn’t good at this stuff. He was  _ supposed _ to be good with conflict, with dealing with other people’s emotions. He was the president, after all. But it just wasn’t  _ fair _ . He always had to put up with others, and not once did anyone else look out for him. 

_ “ _ **_He_ ** _ did. But you exiled him, didn’t you? He helped you raise your voice when you needed to, and you helped steady his hands. Doubt even he gives a shit about you now.” _

Tubbo had enough. He was sick of making the wrong choices, even if it was for the greater good. He was sick of being president, and having to bear the responsibility of everyone else’s fucked up choices. Tommy, Quackity, Techno, Will, Schlatt…. The list went on and on.  _ All  _ of them had fucked up, so why was he the one bearing the brunt of it? Why was he the one judged and pinned for every single slight detail gone awry? 

Not for the first time today, Tubbo wished he could be in his bee farm, sitting among the yellow poppies, and relaxing. Like he used to get to do.

But he couldn’t go to the bee farm. People would look for him there, even though he had said time and time again that the bee farm was the  _ one _ place where he didn’t want to be bothered. But, of course, people didn’t actually give a shit what  _ he _ wanted, did they?

Storming up the prime path, Tubbo felt like a wave was crashing up and over his shaking frame. He was angry, and sad, and  _ weird _ , and he felt like he didn’t have the words to describe what the fuck was actually going on around him, and he couldn’t go to anyone because he was their leader, and he was meant to be strong, and brave, and unshakeable, and-

And he was at Niki’s bakery.  _ Huh.  _

He looked around the small and familiar building, taking in a deep breath of air and smelling the sweet scent of icing sugar wafting out of the small stained windows that were opened. Tubbo felt his shoulders drop, all tension immediately vanishing from out of his mind. 

Niki’s bakery had always been a source of comfort for him. He usually went there when one of his pets had gone missing, or when he had argued with Tommy and they weren’t speaking any longer. Tommy usually went down to the river, which was the other side of L’Manburg. 

He had missed the little bakery, now that he thought about it. He quite enjoyed the dainty decorations that were planted on the outside of the building. It gave off a very homely impression, and made anyone feel welcome as soon as they laid their eyes on the flowery threshold. 

Without a noise, the door opened slightly. Tubbo glanced downwards to see the small girl’s eyes peering out at him from a crack in the door, and was then shown her entire face as she opened her door fully. 

Tubbo tried to pull a smile out for her, but he could tell by the look that Niki was giving him that she wasn’t too convinced by it. 

“Tubbo?” she half whispered, opening the door further so that he could come inside, “You look like you’ve been dragged through a brush backwards.”

“Gee, thanks Niki,” Tubbo chuckled out dryly. “You’re looking quite dazzling too.”

Tubbo shuffled inside, avoiding eye contact with Niki to try and lessen the effect that her caring gaze was having on him. He was not going to cry today. He was determined not to cry. 

Waltzing in, Tubbo took his usual seat next to the window. He’d always liked this seat, because when you looked out you could see the lush green fields of L’Manburg. Or, well, you  _ used _ to be able to see them. Now, the land was dotted and scathed with many buildings and ruins that his citizens had constructed over the past few months. 

Well, at least there were still some potted plants on the window ledge.

In the time it had taken him to reminisce about his hazy afternoons spent here in the bakery, Niki had been to the kitchen and retrieved a slice of red velvet cake and a steaming cup of tea. She lay the plate of goodies and the ceramic mug down in front of his arms, and sat herself down in the purple cushioned chair across from him.

“So,” she said, resting her head in her hands and looking up at the younger boy, “Why do you look like someone just threw you down a flight of stairs?”

And with that, Tubbo burst into tears.

Niki pushed the food out of his way, and moved over to the side to comfort him. Cooing softly, and running her hands through his hair, Niki listened to his sobs.

“I-Its just be-been so h-hard the past f-few weeks, a-and I d-don’t wa-wanna be like Schl-Schlatt, b-but e-everyone is telling me, telling me that I-I’m exact-tly li-like he was, an-and I’m s-so worried, a-and I m-miss To-Tommy, and I just wanna a-act li-like a n-normal sixteen y-year o-old.” 

Breaking off into an unintelligible ramble, Tubbo turned his head into the crook of Niki’s neck, and sobbed until all his tears had finally dried out, and he was left softly shaking in her arms.

“Tubbo, hey, look at me,” Niki said, wiping the dried tears off his face, and looking him in the eyes. “I wouldn’t even begin to imagine the kind of stress you’re under. But the whole reason you’re fit to be president is that you have a cabinet of people who’re there to help you make all of the big decisions. You’re still so young, and you shouldn’t have to make every single big choice all by yourself, so they’re there to guide you. You’re surrounded by people who love and care about you, as well as loyal citizens who want what’s best for this country. You have all the support there, if you reach out for it.”

Niki brushed his stray hairs out of his eyes, and began once again. “But that’s not to say that you haven’t been doing an excellent job so far. You’ve made some tough decisions, but you’ve acted with the country’s best interests in your mind, which is more than we can say for Schlatt. You’re nothing like him, trust me.”

Niki picked up the food beside her and put it in a bag. “Now, drink up your tea, take this cake with you, and go relax for the rest of the evening. You’ve been working non-stop for the past 3 weeks. The country won’t fall to pieces without you there for a couple hours.”

Tubbo sniffles, and murmurs out a “Thank you, Niki.” He makes sure to give Niki a huge hug before he leaves, to show how much he’s grateful. Normally, he’s able to show affection pretty well, but at the moment he’s too emotionally drained from crying his eyes out at her table.

Tubbo takes his leave then, after agreeing to come and talk to Niki at least once a week. She was such a good friend. Tubbo really hopes she sticks around a while longer than the rest. 

Heeding the advice he had gotten from the baker, Tubbo took the rest of the afternoon off. He remembered what he had thought of earlier, about Tommy, and strolled his way down to the riverbank. He’d finish his cake there, and then he’d head home and probably play some Zelda for the rest of the evening. With a bit of luck, he’d get a good night sleep, and be ready to take on the day tomorrow.

Tubbo had never noticed how calming the river was before. He’d always associated the place with loudness, and busyness, the same kinda thing that he’d associated with Tommy. But here it was different.

The way the falling sun lay across the stream made it seem like small diamonds were flowing down and through it, causing soft, lazy waves to ripple across the hazy sapphire. He could make out the soft, flowing shapes of fish , darting lazily inside nooks in the rocks, hidden by the cover of the water. He spotted ladybirds flittering from flower to flower along the riverbank, and could hear the near silent  _ humming _ of their tiny little wings. 

He honestly didn’t know why he’d never come here before. It was comforting, and homely. It reminded him of a soft place he used to live in, a place free from burden, and responsibility, and-

“Tubbo.”

-people. Specifically,  _ this _ person.

Snapped out of his daydream, and cake long forgotten, Tubbo turned to look at the lanky figure who was now standing beside him.

“Dream,” Tubbo greeted curtly, giving him a sharp, disdainful nod.

“So, where are you hiding Tommy?”

_ What? _

“Sorry, what? I’m not hiding Tommy anywhere?” Tubbo announced, shocked that Dream would ask such a thing. “Weren’t you meant to be looking after him while he was in exile?”

Dream nodded, humming, and drumming his fingers against the cheek of his mask. 

“I was looking after him, but we had a slight..” Dream trailed off for a moment, clicking his fingers, and then continued with, “Disagreement. Tommy started an argument, as Tommy often does, and his stubbornness refused to let him admit that he was wrong. I left so that he could cool off, and when I returned, he was gone.”

Dream hunched down on his hunkers, staring out onto the open stream beside Tubbo. “When he didn’t turn up the next day, I figured he’d decided to disobey my-  _ Our  _ agreement.”

Tubbo felt a small anxiety seeping into his bones at this. Tommy couldn't have gone far, but it was still strange that he wandered out of his corner of the server.

“No, no I haven’t seen him around, or heard anything from him. I just assumed that he was okay.”   
  


Tubbo paused at this, remembering the dream he’d had the night prior.

“He  _ is _ okay, isn’t he?”

Dream hummed once again, and then answered the dreaded question, while kicking his legs against the side of the river wall, making the fish scarce. 

“No. I mean, probably not. I’d heard him speaking to Technoblade, while he was at the tent. When I came back, there was no sight of Tommy, but there  _ was _ a very, very tall tower. Probably tall enough to seriously hurt if you fell from it,” he continued nonchalantly.

Tubbo began spluttering, asking “Why the fuck would I class that as okay?! You’re implying to me that you’re assumingTommy is dead, and you think I’m going to agree that he’s  _ okay? _ ”

Dream shrugged, and said, plain and simple, “Everyone has different classifications of okay. I don’t know what yours are.” 

_ You can practically hear the smirk in his voice. Prick.  _ __   
__   
Dream stood up and stretched, the grass beneath where he had stood now crumpled and dark. 

“If you want, you can go check yourself. He may be hiding from me, you never know, but he’ll probably come out to speak to you if you arrive.” Turning his mask towards Tubbo, he continued in that cold, unbothered voice. “I’m sure he’s fine. After all, I don’t think he’d have the guts to pull off as great as a feat of this. He’s always been self centered, and felt like he was above people. Doubt a kid like that would take his ‘Oh-So-Important’ life out of the equation.”

And with that, Dream strode out of view, leaving Tubbo sitting in solemn silence, with panic seeping through his skin. 

_ No. No he can’t be dead. He’s probably just stormed off for a while. Or, or Dream could be lying. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d pull a stunt like this. Yeah, he’s probably tricking me. I’ll head off to Logstedshire, and check it out for myself. _

In his worried state, Tubbo couldn’t seem to collect his thoughts at the river. Feeling anxious, he kicked what was left of his soggy cake into the deep depths of the stream.

_ Probably not the best for the fish, but I couldn’t care less right now.  _

With a brisk walk back to his house, he managed to avoid running into any of his cabinet crew, which he was glad for as he didn’t think he could put up with talking to anyone right now. He’d end up snapping at someone, and that would cause more problems down the line. Better off sitting in his misery on his long walk home then ruining yet  _ another _ relationship.

His home seemed gloomy, and cold. He’d forgotten to shut his window in his rush to the meeting this morning, and the icy breeze had made its way throughout the small place he called home. 

Making his way through the neat and almost unused kitchen, Tubbo grabbed the small rucksack he kept hanging on the doorframe. After he’d been forced out of L’Manburg under Schlatt’s rule, he’d begun keeping a “just-in-case” bag on the door. Dream had called him crazy when he’d seen it, and Tubbo had honestly begun to believe him. He never expected to actually have to use it, but it never hurt to-

Well. You know the rest.

The bag was a black leather rucksack. Inside were simple things, basic healing things like Gapples, healing potions, strength potions, some basic rations like steak and bread, a water bucket, an ender chest and an infinity bow. Simple stuff, but stuff that could be extremely useful if used correctly. 

His compass to Tommy used to be in it. He’d put it in at the end of the night, but he’d lost it a few weeks ago. The bag had felt weirdly empty to him ever since that. He wished he had it at the moment. He’d always wondered if the compass would stop if Tommy had died. He wouldn’t get to test that theory now, which was both somehow a blessing and a curse to him, considering the current situation.

On one hand, his mind was yelling at him, saying  _ “No, no you can’t go check up on him. He’s in exile, and you’re the leader of this country. It’s your responsibility to be here for your citizens, to make sure you’re within the country’s walls in case any problems arise”.  _ But the other half of his mind was thinking back to what Niki had told him earlier. He was allowed to take breaks. Not only that, but Niki had spoken to him like a person. Nobody had done that in quite a while, and he wanted to go and do something that made him feel a bit more human.

Writing a quick note explaining his absence, and leaving it on the table for whoever would stumble in to find him, Tubbo grabbed the rucksack, some torches and his armour, and headed out onto the path to the Nether.

He might’ve lost his compass a while back, but when Tommy had first been exiled, he’d walked this path every night in an attempt to calm his sleeplessness. He could practically make his way to the portal of Logstedshire blindfolded by now. He noticed every little change in the path, the new building constructed around the portals to offer some slight protection from the blasts often fired by the Ghasts of the area. He also noticed many new bridges leading off the edge of the main bridge, seemingly leading to nowhere but lava pools.

_ Maybe someone was testing out their fire resistance potions. Still, it’s a bit of an odd way to test that out. Very risky. _

Continuing forward, Tubbo noticed that this part of the nether was bare. There weren't any visible forms of life. No Ghasts, no Piglings, nothing. It was odd, considering the amount of mobs that normally surrounded this area. He’d had to fight his way back to L’Manburg more than once, and it unsettled him to see the place absolutely barren.

Ignoring the ominous feeling that the Nether was currently giving him, Tubbo pushed on. He should be grateful that there weren’t any distractions on his way to Tommy’s. This way, he could check on him, say a quick hello, and be back in L’Manburg before daybreak. A nice, quick, personal trip, and then home and ready for work. 

It seemed like the perfect plan, so  _ why _ couldn’t he shake the feeling that something was wrong?

In what seemed like an eternity later, Tubbo saw the familiar indigo-blue hue emerging from the square portal. A small bit of relief let itself in at this sight, as Tubbo hadn’t remembered to bring a flint and steel with him, and he still couldn’t see any Ghasts around. If the portal wasn’t lit, he would’ve had to make the trek all the way back to L’Manburg, and chances are his cabinet would demand to escort him to the beach. They treated him like porcelain now that he only had one life left.

Looking down at the two etched out scribbles, and the one full heart on his wrist, Tubbo shook his head. He  _ would _ lose that life eventually, but for now, he was well capable of looking after himself. After all, it was others who had caused him to lose the two lives prior to this one.

Gritting his teeth, Tubbo took a long step into the spiraling portal, gritting his teeth and clasping his hands together. These portals always caused such a wave of nausea for him at the best of times, and with the sickness he was already feeling he wouldn’t be shocked if he threw up upon entry to the other side. Not a very professional look for a president, even if he  _ was _ just going to see Tommy.

Tubbo fell to his knees on entry to the beach, trying desperately to steady his breathing and his mind, and to  _ not _ faint. Losing his last life to mobs would be so embarrassing. He’d have to die a fourth time to make up for it.

Standing up, and steadying his swaying feet, Tubbo took a deep breath of salted air in and allowed himself a moment to listen to the steadily crashing waves against the sand.  _ Tommy really likes his ocean sounds, huh. _

Walking along the pire-lit path he looked around for Tommy’s tent, only to find it had been blown up. At first glance, it looked all too similar to a creeper explosion, but looking closely he could see the slight scathings of TNT that he’d become oh-so familiar with over the past few months.  _ That’s strange. _

_ Did Tommy blow up his own house? I don’t think he’d do that, even with his own fondness for destruction. Also, he doesn’t usually go for explosions, what with arson being his preferred method. The only person with access to TNT is… _

_ Dream. _

Tubbo began to get extremely anxious at this, walking around more frantically now. Something was wrong, he knew it. He’d felt it creeping on the past week, and the dream he’d had last night confirmed his suspicions.

Something terrible had happened to Tommy, and he didn’t even know.

_ A tower. Dream mentioned a tower. Where could that possibly be- _

**_Oh._ **

Tubbo saw the tower, in all its terrifyingly horrific glory. It was made out of every sort of block, even granite. Strange for Tommy. It was so, so very tall, and in that moment Tubbo felt the smallest he’d ever felt. Looking down with eyes wide and frantic, he saw what he’d most feared. 

Blood stains, littered across the bottom of the tower, mixing in with the remnants of water that were pooled underneath the shaky foundations. The blood was almost hauntingly pretty, swirling out like dainty little chrysanthemums. Tubbo dropped to his knees, clutching at his sand-filled hair. He felt sick to his stomach. His lungs were filled with lead, and the waves were suddenly so incredibly loud.

_ Tommy was dead. Tommy was dead, and it was his fault. He didn’t listen to his friends, he abandoned his closest friend, and now he was dead, and there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t bring him back, he couldn’t change his mind on the exile, he couldn’t apologise, he would never,  _ **_ever_ ** _ see his closest friend, his brother, ever again and it was all his  _ **_fault._ ** __

_ If he hadn’t exiled Tommy, if he’d listened, and figured out what happened, they could’ve taken Dream on together, if he’d only had more lives, if only Techno hadn’t executed him, they could’ve- _

_ Techno. _

Dream had said that he’d seen Techno speaking to Tommy earlier, before he’d vanished. And now Tommy was  **dead.** Tubbo was no mathematician, but he could put two and two together pretty fucking easily. 

Techno had destroyed his nation, and pushed so much more unnecessary stress on him, all for his own  _ selfish  _ goals. Techno had killed him, making him unable to fight Dream with Tommy by his side. Techno had spoken to Tommy, and Tommy had taken his last life.

This was Techno’s fault. This was the only thing he was absolutely sure of in that moment. 

Using his sand-stricken hands, and wiping the salt filled tears across his face, Tubbo gritted his teeth. 

_ Techno will pay his dues, like it or not.  _

He needed to have a nice, long chat with his cabinet. He owed Quackity an apology. 

He needed to speak with Dream about getting some TNT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break between chapters!! School has started back for me, so updates are probably going to be a bit further apart than usual. To make up for it, the chapters will probably be longer. I hope you enjoyed!!


	6. The Frozen House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno has had a very long week.   
> He'd like to get some answers, and quite possibly a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Before this chapter starts, I'd like to ask everyone to take a loot at the tags!! Make sure you're comfortable enough with the cw's before continuing to read this chapter!! Thanks.

Shrugging the snow off of his cloaked shoulders, Techno opened the door to his warmth filled house. Despite it now hosting four separate people, the house stood as silent as ever. The only noise that could be heard was the small crackle that jumped out of the fireplace, along with the icy wind that was gently blowing against the window panes.

Now, normally Techno would be very grateful for this intoxicating silence, but today it made him feel uneasy. Whenever his family was around him, he could hardly ever catch a moment of peace, especially when Tommy was about. Even if the kid wasn’t talking, he’d be mumbling short, sarcastic comments under his breath, or humming along to whatever tune he’d managed to get stuck in his head this time. 

But today, there was no noise. Not even the familiarity of his short breaths could be heard. 

_ I can respect people’s privacy, but at this stage I‘m genuinely getting concerned that I’m harbouring an alien wearing my little brother’s face in my house. I need to get at least  _ _ some _ _ answers from somebody. _

Phil wasn’t at the house right now. Techno knew this because everything in his cushy sitting room was still out of place, seemingly from someone rummaging through it. Tommy wasn’t on the couch anymore, but the bloodstains that came out of him sure were. Those wouldn’t come out too easily. 

Techno couldn’t make out where Tommy had scurried off to from where he was standing. The trapdoor to his bedroom was still shut, which ruled him out of being up there, as Tommy had never closed a door behind him in his entire life, little sibling style. Which left two possible options;

The kitchen, or the storage room. 

Techno figured he’d check the kitchen first, seeing as Tommy was a “growing boy who needed his carbs” - Phil’s words, not his. He also didn’t put it past the guy to raid his kitchen with no remorse or second thoughts given. 

Shucking off his snow-damp jacket and hanging it up near the door, Techno strode into the kitchen doorway, doing a mental tally of the surrounding room. The couch was pretty banged up, and a couple of his history books were out of place. He figured this was Will’s doing, as Tommy only enjoyed reading fiction books.

“Too many boring  _ real _ people in those,” he’d explained when Techno asked him about his book preference. “I’m surrounded by actual history, and boring rules, and blah blah blah in real life. If I’m reading, I’m gonna read about something  _ fun. _ ”   
  


He noticed that some of the paper he kept on the table was missing, along with one of his favourite quills. He’d have to talk to Tommy about stealing things that weren’t his,  _ again. _

Techno knocked on the wooden door frame to the kitchen, announcing his presence to anyone who might’ve been present. People around here seemed to be really jumpy these days, and if someone had gone rummaging through his things, as they often did, he didn’t fancy losing one of his never-lost lives in his own home. Can you imagine the embarrassment? 

However, the only person present in the kitchen wasn’t really a person at all. Hovering there in all his glory was Ghostbur. Techno wasn’t sure if he could actually hold a weapon in those misty hands of his.

He appeared to be able to hold something though, as he was currently spreading peanut butter on slices of cheese, and then placing them on a plate of lettuce., while humming something that sounded scarily similar to an animal crossing song. 

_ Where the fuck did he get lettuce from? _

Will didn’t seem to notice Techno’s looming figure in the door as he reached out the window and poured the contents of the plate out onto the ground below. 

Coughing awkwardly, Techno shuffled into the room and asked, in the most calm and patient voice he could possibly muster, “Will? What the hell are you doing?”

Turning around and nearly smashing the plate off of the windowsill, Ghostbur beamed at Techno.

“Well! It’s good to see you too! And I am doing my ever dutiful task of feeding Friend! He’s very cold outside, but Phil told me that you’d probably be very absolutely mad if I brought him in from the snow. I don’t think it’s that big of an issue, though, considering you’re also part animal. Either way, Friend can handle the snow because he’s a very wooly fellow. I think that in a while, for the summer, I’ll have to give him a nice little shave to help him cool down, after all we wouldn’t want him to get too uncomfortable. I think that Bad knows how to turn wool into proper useable stuff, so I might pass it onto him, and then make an incredible jumper for-”

“Will,” Techno sighed out, cutting off his twin’s ramble, “Forgive me for asking and interrupting, but  _ who _ is Friend, and  _ why _ are you feeding him my perfectly good cheese?”

Will looked extremely shocked at this, as if someone had just threatened to shave his head. Shaking his head, he began to mutter under his breath, raising the plate up to his face and staring at his reflection in it. 

Now, Techno could handle a lot of bullshit. Like, a  _ lot _ of bullshit. But over the past couple of days, he’d put up with so much craziness and just let it brush past him. He was now beginning to get a tension headache, and it had  _ much _ to do with the lanky spirit standing less than three meters away from him. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose until he saw stars, Techno took a deep breath to calm himself. Glancing back up, and staring at the silver clock on the wall, he saw that it was only four pm.  _ Too early to use going to bed as an excuse to leave, and too late to use the farm. Damnit. _

Looking back in Will’s direction again, he saw that he was reaching into the fridge once more, trying to retrieve the block of cheese that he’d just returned to the shelf. Techno took leaping steps over to him, grabbing his wrist to try and stop him from wasting absolutely  _ all  _ of his hard earned resources. However, when he grabbed his hand, Techno shivered from head to toe, and immediately drew back. It felt like someone was rubbing a slime up and down his hand. 

Now, feeling weird when he and others touched wasn’t unusual for Techno. He was never a huge “Get-A-Random-Hug-Off-A-Stranger” type of guy, always being the one to initiate the contact, but this felt so unusual to him. 

He couldn’t  _ quite _ put his fingers on the texture, but he was certain he’d felt it before with another person. Or was it with a mob? 

“Techno? Why are we holding hands?” 

His brother's question, followed by a furrowed brow on his behalf drew him out of his deep thought. “Huh- we’re- what? We aren’t holding hands. I’m trying to stop you from stealing my cheeses.”

Wilbur seemed upset at this, gingerly looking at the quarter block of cheese that remained. “But, I need to feed Friend. It’s lunchtime, and he gets  _ very _ hangry if I don’t feed him on time.”

Techno felt anger begin to slowly creep into his head at this, and said through gritted teeth, “Will. You fed your ‘Friend’ less than 3 minutes ago. So  _ why _ are you feeding him again?”

“Why- what do you mean? I haven’t fed him yet. Lunchtime is at three, and it’s-  _ oh.” _

Ghostbur looked perplexed at the time shown on the clock. There was a solid 30 seconds of blissful silence, before he shrugged his shoulders and put the last remainders of the cheese back in the fridge. 

_ Great. _ Not only was he dealing with a seemingly truant, moody Tommy, but now he had an amnesiac ghost living under his roof, who had just spent the past hour giving his ‘Friend’ all of his food resources. 

Techno was very quickly getting fed up with his unwanted houseguests. 

“Will. Look at me, and listen to me very, _ very  _ carefully. Do. You. Know. Where. Tommy. Is?”

Humming under his breath, Will shook his head. Then he paused, and looked around the room as if a very exciting scene from a movie was playing out in front of his glistening pale eyes. 

“You know, I never really was too happy with Tommy leaving L’Manburg. It felt like out of everyone, he should’ve been the only one to stay, really. He adored that place. Must’ve really hurt when he got dragged out of there.”

“Just as well he had a familiar face with him! I couldn’t stand being at the beach for too long, beaches are so watery sometimes, and he always made me feel uncomfortable, but if he wasn’t there I’d spend time with little Tom. Dream did take care of him though. He didn’t die, and always seemed to talk very fast around him. He enjoyed the company, I think, but I don’t really pay much attention to that stuff these days, I’ll be honest-”

Will’s ramble slowly faded out of earshot as Techno glided out of his kitchen. He liked listening to rambles, usually happy enough to let others do the talking for him, but he preferred when the rambles were actually  _ somewhat  _ coherent.

Well. At least that solved the great, long-standing mystery of “Where-Is-Tommy-Hiding?”

If he wasn’t in the kitchen, and he wasn’t upstairs hiding under Techno’s bed, he had to be in the one and  _ only  _ other place in Techno’s humble abode. The chest room.

The place with all his valuables. Typical.

This whole situation was typical for Tommy. He fucked up, he got in trouble. The only difference is this time he’s actually paying the consequences for his actions. Techno had to admit, he was shocked at this. He may not have much respect for Tubbo, what with him being a governmental figure and all, but exiling your own friend for the greater good was a ballsy move. He could give him that, at least.

Honestly, this whole situation was pretty standard. Tommy clearly just wasn’t used to bad things happening to him after he did bad things to others. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. After all, Techno was pretty much exiled too. He didn’t  _ want _ to go back to L’Manburg, unless it was to blow it up, obviously, but still. He didn’t think he’d exactly be welcomed with open arms there. Tommy brought this on himself, and had to deal with it. Big whoop. Kid needed to mature a tad anyways. It couldn’t hurt  _ too _ bad, in the long run.

What  _ was _ annoying him was the whole “Being exiled with Dream as your only companion.” That man was borderline manic and manipulative at the best of times, even towards the strongest willed of them. He always seemed to be pulling some sort of strings. He didn’t like the thought of  _ anyone _ spending too much time with him, let alone a child who’s contact to others was completely cut off. 

Dream wasn’t subtle. This was one thing Techno knew for sure. He was the least subtle manipulator on this entire planet, and that’s why his plans worked so well. If you pointed out to him or to others that he was acting manipulative, he’d find some way to convince everyone you were unsettling the peace, and then next thing you know you’d be  _ hunted for sport _ , or something wild along those lines. 

Still, it had only been a week or two. Dream had the tendency to play the long game, so Tommy was probably fine. If Techno could handle being isolated in the middle of a winter wonderland for months on end, Tommy could handle being with an asshole for a week. Besides, he also had Ghostbur with him from time to time. He offered some sort of friendship too. Tommy was lucky enough to get even  _ that _ .

Turning the corner to walk into his chest room, Techno could hear faint rummaging through the walls. It was near silent, as if the person was trying to stash something without being heard.  _ Typical _ . You let a teenager crash on your couch for one night, and all of a sudden he’s stealing and hiding  _ your own shit _ from you. Right. Perfect. 

Enough was enough. 

Striding angrily into the chest room and slamming the door shut behind him, Techno let out one of his loudest sighs. He was so focused on preparing his angry speech that he didn’t notice Tommy nearly leap out of his own skin at the sound of the door moving. He had put up with  _ enough _ from everyone the past few days. Anytime Tommy shows up, chaos follows. It was about time someone properly said it to him, face to face, and for him to properly  _ listen _ .

“Tommy. I have left enough supplies upstairs for you for weeks. There’s food up there. There’s company. So, do tell,  _ why  _ are you rummaging through my storage?”

“W-Well, Techno you see I was just-”

“Just what? Just looting? Just ‘borrowing’ something to give it back later? Just going to steal and hope I don’t notice again? Christ, Tommy. I’ve left you an entire feast up there to help you try and heal up a bit, and yet that’s not even enough for you, is it? What more could you possibly want?”

“Hey, well fuck you! I’ve been left up there with Mr.Amnesia, who’s gone through nearly the entire fridge, and I’m bored out of my fucking mind! I’m only tryna have a look around your shit. You probably wouldn't even bat an eye if some of this junk went missing. You seem to hoard a lot of bullshit.” Tommy looked up at him, a small spark back in his eyes. 

“Besides, it’s the least you could do, considering you almost murdered me up when you were  _ literally  _ blowing up my country.”

And at this, Techno’s patience finally ran out.

“No, Tommy. Shut up and listen to me, for once. You are,  _ in no way,  _ the victim here. You, along with everyone else at your heel, betrayed me after I helped you get your country back. You get put in exile after deciding that the peace you had wasn’t good enough, then show up blood stricken and half dead at my door, making me harbour a fugitive when there’s a rumour that half of L’Manburg is on the lookout to execute me!”

“Despite this, I leave you with food, with healing poitions, doing everything I possibly fucking could after you decided you _didn’t want to deal with any consequences_ and got injured because of it, and you come down here to take even fucking more from me?! You bring nothing but trouble with you wherever you go, you stupid, selfish child!”

Techno broke off with a heavy, angry breath, and looked Tommy directly in his eyes.

“For once in your goddamn life, be grateful for what you’re given, instead of demanding for more and more, you spoiled little brat.

Tommy was silent. Tommy was really, very, uncharastically quiet. He seemed to be sizing Techno up at this point, looking frantically up and down his face, as if he was gauging something. His hands seemed fidgety, as if he wanted to move them around but was keeping them firmly planted against his sides.

Finally, there was movement from him. He slowly reached up, as if he was near a rabid animal, and took the soft, baby blue cloak that Phil had given to him the night previous off of his shoulders. Wincing as the cold struck his body, the bloody bandages he bore now fully exposed to the cold, Tommy let his cloak fall to the floor. Then he began to reach into his pockets, pulling out the small items he’d taken; bread, some small nuggets of iron, the weakest healing potion that Techno had honestly forgotten he possessed. He slowly crouched down, gritting his teeth in pain, and placed them carefully on top of the cloak.

_ What was he doing? _

“Hey, uh, Tom, what are you up to-”

“I didn’t take much. Sorry. I’m sure you would’ve liked it if I’d actually tried to rob you blind.” Keeping his eyes cast at the floor, Tommy shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably, before continuing on. 

“I’ll go to the nether tonight. I think I’ve seen a fortress near my- Near Dream’s portal. I’ll replace any healing potions I’ve used, if you’ll let me near your brewing stands. If not, I’ll give you the materials to remake them. Sorry. I won’t be able to get the bread or the food by tomorrow, though. I’ll bring them back later if you’d like. Or not, whichever you tell me. I’ll leave after the potions are made. You won’t have to put up with me for much longer.”

Tommy cut off, shifting his weight from foot to foot, and looked Techno in the eyes. “ “ It wasn’t my idea to come to your stupid house in the first place, you know. I wasn’t planning on being brought here. I wasn’t planning on being found. I’ll be gone by morning.

And with that, Tommy stepped around the items on the floor, handing Techno the sword he had kept strapped to his belt, and stumbled over to the ladder to climb down. Turning and looking down slightly, Techno saw a stack of hay, and a small blanket at the very bottom of the ladder.  _ So, that’s where he’s been sleeping. _ __   
__   
Techno was standing there, baffled. There was no fight left in Tommy. He’d walked in, expecting an explosion of emotions. Not….

Not whatever that was. 

Swallowing down the guilt that was beginning to stir in the back of his throat, Techno turned back to Tommy as he was struggling to climb down the ladder. It was to be expected, with his bruised ribs and everything. Techno saw Tommy looking at the bandages that criss-crossed his chest with a very angry expression dancing across his face, and he reached out to help the younger boy get his footing to climb down the ladder. 

Tommy, however, hadn’t noticed Techno reaching down to help him, and almost slid down the entire ladder when he saw a hand reaching for him. 

Looking up into his brother’s eyes, Tommy swallowed anxiously, and began to climb hurriedly downwards, looking flushed with embarrassment and ignoring any pain he might’ve felt from the numerous injuries laced across his body.

Once he’d seen his brother make it to the other end of the floor safely, Techno stood up from his crouch and turned back towards his door, dumbfounded. Glancing down at his own scarred hands, he tried to figure out why Tommy had leaped away from him so suddenly.

What had happened to him while he was away to make him so jumpy? 

What had happened to all the fight in his fiery personality?

Tearing his eyes away from his hands, Techno glared at the mound of items that Tommy had left in his wake, only to see his quill, a feather that had fallen out of Phil’s tattered wings, and Will’s beanie lying in the midst of the pile. And finally, in the dead centre of it all, was a shredded and bloody red bandana, sitting in the dead centre of the circle of items.

_ Where had his energetic little brother gone? _

\------------------------------------

  * _December, xxx_



_ Found him. The snowfall is pretty heavy around these parts, which covered most of the tracks, but realistically there was only one place he could go. I saw the flightless bird bringing in food for more than one person. He must have cosied up with the dearest traitor. The pig. _

_ I think I can make this work.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are so many plot lines intertwining in the SMP right now and I am so not ready for any of it holy shit.   
> Anyways! I hope you all enjoyed that chapter and are doing well!! Take care <3


	7. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo isn't a stranger to war. The only difference is that this time, is that he's the one running it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Sorry for the long break, I was very, very caught up with school stuff. A reminder to read the tags before reading this chapter, just to make sure you're okay with everything in it! Also, this story will contain spoilers for the SMP, but for the most part it's older stuff. Still, I thought I should mention it just in case. Enjoy!!

War wasn’t an unusual topic for Tubbo.

Ever since he’d arrived in the SMP, there had been non stop fighting. The Disks, L’Manburg, Pogtopia…..

The list went on and on.

This was both a blessing and a curse in his eyes. The downside was the nightmares that he had to deal with every night, along with the general paranoia and mistrust of those around him. He also tended to ignore the anxiety spikes that came over him any time he happened to stumble upon a creeper.

He tended not to dwell on these negatives, and instead look at the positives, and the future. 

I’m sure you’re asking, “ _Tubbo, what possible benefits could come out of continuous wars?_ ” And to that, he’d tell you that there weren’t any benefits to the war itself. However, when you’ve been in battle after battle, your body and mind learns to keep track of what works in the war and what doesn’t. And Tubbo currently needed to prepare for a fight against one of, if not _the_ most dangerous person on the entire server.

Technoblade.

Now, Tubbo wasn’t a hundred percent sure on this front, but apparently Techno had managed to avoid losing a single one of his oh-so precious lives yet. He didn’t really understand why, as he’d assumed Techno would have seen dying as a martyr to be honourable, but thinking about it in more depth he wasn’t surprised. 

Technoblade was a very selfish person in the eyes of Tubbo. He seemingly only cared about causes if it benefitted him in some way, shape or form, and if your ideals happened to cross his, or irritate him in the slightest, he’d announce you were enemies, and do everything within his possibility to ruin you. Tubbo had been witness to this so many times before, and he was getting very, _very_ sick of it. 

Techno was meant to be someone that others could look up to. Standing against tyranny and corruptness, and being an idol for those who couldn’t stick up for themselves. Instead, he was a selfish, corrupt, idealistic man himself. He tore those around him down for his own goals, not caring of the consequences it would have on all the innocents in the outfall. 

Tubbo considered this to be quite rude, which is why, for the past 3 days since he’d announced his plans for execution to the rest of his cabinet, he’s been grinding out and working non-stop to create the perfect plan to finally, _finally_ take one of Techno’s lives, to finally teach him a lesson. He’s also gathered so many materials to the point where there was absolutely no mineral he or anyone else could be deficient in.

Ranboo had come around and tried to tell him that he was acting “out of sorts” and that “It wasn’t like him to be this hellbent on revenge”, but he thought that was a bunch of rubbish. Ranboo hadn’t been around for the previous wars, he hadn’t had a first hand witness of the atrocities that Techno had wrought on everyone in the lands. 

Plus, Ranboo didn’t really know him all that well, and it wasn’t any of his business what decisions Tubbo made.

“ _He’s a part of your cabinet. He’s trying to be friendly and look out for you, you’re just being a dick. Again.”_

It doesn’t matter now anyway. Tommy was gone, and Techno had to die to make up for it. That would make it even, and just, and fair, and everything would go back to being good and better after it. 

Doing a quick mental tally of the room he was in, Tubbo began matching up the items he could see to the scroll of written items in his hand.

Along the engraved basalt walls, there were armour hooks, filled up with enchanted diamond armour. There were five pairs in total. One for him, Quackity, Ranboo, Fundy and-

Well. He’d made an extra suit just in case he was wrong about the whole Tommy situation. Just in case.

Underneath the lined walls, and the heavy armour, there were chests with some netherite, and some spare diamond swords. He was pretty damn sure that the rest of the crew had their own strong enough weapons to keep them going, but it didn’t hurt to be too prepared, especially as he hadn’t been paying attention to any of the fights that had happened in the past 72 hours. He couldn’t afford for any of his companions to be slacking. Especially not in an event as important as this.

Alongside the chests, he had a barrel of food, with one or two golden apples he’d managed to scramble together in them. Then he had the brewing stands, filled with some very basic speed and regeneration potions. 

He quite liked the brewing stands, as their gentle bubbling was always really nicely timed along with the soft flow of the mini waterfalls he’d made in this room. 

All in all, he’d managed to scrape together some pretty strong materials. He was confident that Techno wouldn’t see this attack coming, and would be caught weak and off guard. Retirement or not, he _was_ going to pay for the indecencies he’d committed, and for those he’d hurt in the past, dead or alive. 

“Tubbo?”

A meek voice came from the crack in the door, belonging to the dearest fox of the SMP. 

“Tubbo, what the fuck is this? Is this where you’ve been for the past couple days?”

Tubbo turned his head around, placing down the soft scroll of items next to the brewing stand, squinting at the sudden glaring light that was filtering in through the doorway now that it had been opened fully. 

“Hm? Yeah, I’ve been here, working on some stuff. I figured that we’d need supplies for Techno’s execution, and I wanted to make sure all our bases were covered. I made this room so that others outside of The Butcher’s Army wouldn’t be able to take anything from us, I was going to bring you all down later on-”

“Tubbo, this is insane,” Fundy locked eyes with the younger boy, mouth nearly agape. “This-this isn’t like you, at all. You’re never this set on _murder_ , you’ve always stuck by the whole ‘solve-things-with-words’ thing that Will put into place. This-” 

Fundy cut off gesturing with his arms wide open to the sides of the room and spinning, “This is mental.”

Tubbo was quite irked at this, seeing as how Fundy hadn’t interjected at any time in the past to a bit of beneficial murder. 

“Well, _Big Man,_ I’ve been elected as president, and I believe that this is the best course of action. Techno had committed acts of terrorism against my country, and he’s a threat to all those who live under my protection. I’ve deemed the best course of action to be to eliminate the threat entirely, so that everyone learns a lesson, and a precedent is set, so that others learn not to mess with us, and-”

“You sound like how Schlatt did.”

“ _Excuse me?”_ Tubbo turned fully to face the ginger man standing parallel to himself. 

“Sorry, was that not clear enough for you? You’re talking the way Schlatt did. You, of all people, should know exactly how that sounds.”

Tubbo’s head ached. He instinctively reached up to pat at the small horns protruding from his hair. 

“I-I’m not acting like Schlatt, I wouldn’t do that. I’m acting in the best interested of my country, and-”

“ _Jesus,_ Tubbo! Can’t you hear yourself? Schlatt was ‘just acting in the best interest of his country’ when he executed you during his festival! You’re pulling the exact same shit, but you’ve just put it under a different brand!”

Fundy fell silent again, nearly heaving his breaths out. He was stressed, and confused, and almost shaking with _something,_ be it anger or fear. 

“Now, you listen to me, Tubbo,” he started up again, pointing at him and stepping closer to him. “You told me that we would work together when you were elected. You said that you were gonna run this whole place in a different way to Will and Schlatt. You said that we were gonna be _different_ , and _fair_ , and-” 

Fundy was getting close. Too close. And he was angry, and getting progressively angrier, and Tubbo didn’t like it one bit.

_He’s gonna hurt you. He’s gonna kill you, your last life is gone. Run, idiot start running, or fight him, he’s gonna get you. C’mon, grab the sword. I don’t wanna die. Not gonna die, that’s it, get the sword, get the sword-_

“Tubbo? Are you even fucking listening to me?” Fundy addresses him angrily, giving him a shove on the shoulders to drag him out of whatever state he was currently in.

This was the worst possible move that he could’ve done at that moment.

Feeling his panic come to a peak, Tubbo fumbles behind him and wrenches a sword out of the chest. He hadn’t had the chance to enchant them yet, but Fundy wasn’t wearing armour, as per the rules of L’Manburg. It shouldn’t be too hard to take him.

Tubbo slashed out at the man standing in front of him, not hearing whatever his moving mouth had to say. _One hit._ Fundy was backing off now, but he could just as easily stab back. Jump, and hit him again. _Two, and a crit. On more and I’m safe._ Fundy was bleeding profusely now, and had fallen back against the bookshelves surrounding the small enchanting corner. He was grabbing books off the shelves and holding it against himself, while also trying to hit Tubbo with him.

_He won’t hit me. He won’t hurt me. Slash around the book, or under, and get him. Then we’re safe._

Tubbo raised his sword behind him one last time, focusing his weight on his feet, and leaped up, lowering his wrists downwards for one last slashing blow-

Then felt a pain run up his wrist as he heard a _clang_ , and saw his sword connect with a solid iron shield. _Huh?_

Looking up to see the source of the shield, Tubbo locked eyes with Dream, and saw a concerned Quackity duck under the shield to aid the injured Fundy, who was cowering underneath.

“Now, I’m all for some light-hearted battling, and murder isn’t off the list either, but as far as I’m aware, you need this one for your plan. So, why don’t you drop the sword, and come talk to me, like an adult.” The cocky voice drawled out from behind the smiling mask that was donned upon the face of the one and only Dream.

“ _Or,”_ Quackity’s sharp voice cut across the confident man, “He could come and apologise to his friend, who he _almost fucking murdered._ Jesus, Tubbo. One more hit and Fundy would have died. This is fucking manic. What the fuck were you thinking?”

Tubbo couldn’t bring himself to look down at his two friends. Still looking up at the blank mask, he just said, “I wasn’t. I just didn’t think.”

“Well, well fucking done for ‘just-not-thinking’, genius. Who’s next, huh? Is it me, for cutting across your murder spree, or is it gonna be someone else entirely? Niki, maybe?”

Tubbo glared down at the smaller man, clenching his jaw. “You leave Niki out of this, you hear? That’s not funny.”

“Y’know what’s not funny? Watching your friend _almost slaughter your other friend for no fucking reason._ I get it, you’re really upset over Tommy, but that’s no goddamn reason to take it out on everyone else. You can’t just take your sadness and anger out on others, you selfish prick-”

“Oh, come on now, Quackity. You’re one to talk,” Dream muttered out. “You had no issue with potentially murdering anyone, including those close to you when you were alongside Schlatt. Now-” Dream held up his free hand to shush Quackity before he could finish opening his mouth to argue back, “I vote that we move on from this, and fast. I’ve already heard news from around the place that your little Army has been brought to Techno’s attention. If you wanna be prepared to fight him, you’ve gotta work together, and ignore any internal conflict for the time being.”

Turning his head back to Tubbo, Dream continues. “Now, you and I need to have a chat about some things, _President Tubbo.”_

Tubbo nods his head, and looks down at a bleeding Fundy, who’s still clenching the book he’d dragged from the shelf in front of him, and a furious Quackity, staring at him with enough rage to fuel a geothermal power plant for years.

“Fundy, Big Q, you’re excused. I’ll call a meeting for us to discuss- well. Discuss everything, as soon as this meeting is over, and Fundy has healed up a bit.”

Tubbo hears some murmurings of, “Excused my ass,” as the two men make their way out of the room and back to the surface.

While both of them were making their way out and up the staircase, Dream had re-attached his shield onto his back, and circled his room, opening chests, and examining the armour that was laid upon the wall, albeit slightly off centre due to the fumbling near it beforehand. 

Tubbo said nothing as he made his way around the room, picking up the odd potion or sword here or there, and just silently watched as he completed a full examination of every item. 

“Nice stash you’ve got here. Did you get this all yourself?” he asked, turning to face Tubbo, with a golden apple in his gloved hand.

“Yeah, I’ve been getting it the past couple days. Thought it would be helpful for-”

Tubbo cut himself off before he revealed too much of the plan, remembering that Dream wasn’t _actually_ an ally, but unfortunately for him, Dream had caught his hesitation.

“For the execution? I heard you talking about it earlier. Fun thing, that. I truly hope it goes well for you.”

Tugging his shield off his back, and leaning on it, Dream continued his statement after getting no reaction or comment from the younger boy.

“Honestly, Tubbo, I think the others are just jealous of your hard work, and are embarrassed about the fact someone so young is doing more than they ever could. I mean, look at you. You’re the president of a country, and you’ve compiled a serious amount of armour and other valuables together in less than 3 days. Quackity and Fundy have never been the most leader-like of the bunch, and if I had to guess, I’d say they felt threatened by someone a thousand times more competent than them being on the same council as them, and having more power than they agree with.”

Twirling his shield around, and tapping the side of it with his foot to pick it up and place it back between his armoured shoulder blades, he once again took a quick glance around the room.

Or, at least, Tubbo thought he did. He couldn’t actually tell with the mask on his face. _How does he see through that?_

“It would be a good thing for _all_ people involved if Techno died, but I do have to ask,” Dream placed the golden apple he still had in his hand back into the chest, crossed his arms behind his back, cocked his head and asked “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Tommy’s dead. That’s why.”

Then, to Tubbo’s utter disbelief, Dream laughed. A full, hearty, cold laugh. 

Feeling his temper begin to rise again, Tubbo opened his mouth to yell at the elder man, but when Dream saw him prepare to let a roar out, he held up his hands in an attempt to calm the brunet. 

“Dead? God, so you _did_ go and see his tower in the end. Damn, Tubbo, you didn’t think I’d actually send you to see your friend’s suicide tower? I may have done some crappy things in the past, but I’m not that horrible. It sucks that you thought that about me,” the man stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

_Defensive. He’s a prick._

“So, if you didn’t send me there to witness the site of my friend’s death, _do tell_ why you encouraged me to go there in the first place?”

“Once again, I assumed Tommy was being stubborn and childish, as per usual, and I thought he’d come out of hiding for you. Now, though, the story has changed a bit.”

Rummaging around in his pocket, the blond pulled out a small note with familiar, scribbly handwriting on it. 

“I’d forgotten, but Tommy asked me to give this to you a few weeks back. I got a bit caught up, and I didn’t realise what it was when I re-discovered it, so you’ll forgive me for reading it, but here you go.”

Tubbo took the small note out of the hand being extended to him, and silently read to himself.

_Tubbo._

_Don’t come and visit me. I don’t want you here. I’d rather never see your dumbass near me ever again, actually, you dickhead. Fuckin exilin' me and then trying to stay friends? Go fuck yourself :)._

_\- Tommy_

  
  


Tubbo felt his heart drop. In just a few short, bitter sentences, his entire world had been flipped upside down. 

_Tommy wasn’t dead._ That was a relief. He was alive, and well-

Wait. Was he alive?

“Dream, you said this note was a few weeks old, so why did you say he-”

“He’s alive, because he was spotted trying to escape Techno’s house.”

“ _What?”_

“Yeah. Someone reported back to me that they saw Tommy, battered and bleeding, trying to leave a cabin in the middle of a wintery forest. He was stopped by someone, though we aren’t 100% sure on who it was. Another witness has told us that Techno has been seen going to and from that cabin previously, so it’s safe to assume that it’s his home.”

“Your witness saw Tommy, injured and possibly _dying,_ and just _left him there?_ ”

Dream shrugged. “It wasn’t any of our business. Tommy is banned from my lands, and yours, so they just let him be.”

Tubbo was shaking his head, not believing what he was hearing. On one hand, he was overjoyed that his friend, his best friend, was alive. 

But on the other hand, his friend was currently staying in the house of one of the biggest threats to his country, someone who had blown his country to bits previously. 

“You said he was seen _escaping_ Techno’s, right? That means you think he’s been kidnapped?”

_Why would he willingly stay at Techno’s? He hates that stupid prick. He’d have to have lost his mind to be willing to stay there._

Dream shrugged, and started to make his way towards the door. 

“I’m just repeating what was told to me. It’s up to you whether or not you choose to pursue it. Whatever you choose, I’m sure it’ll be good. After all,” Dream turned back to look into Tubbo’s eyes, drawing his sword and leaning it between his shoulder and the door frame, “You’re the good president.”

With that, he turned and took his leave 

Tubbo was conflicted. He couldn’t tell if Tommy was safe or not, or if Tommy was doing this to get back at him, and he couldn’t talk to anyone about this, as Niki would talk him out of executing Techno.

That was still the best course of action, in his mind.

He’d pissed off Big Q and Fundy, and Ranboo probably wouldn’t be too pleased to see him after he gets wind of what he did to Fundy.

Right. Tubbo would have to arrange a meeting with his cabinet. He’d have to apologise to all of them, and come up with a plan to kill Techno, and save Tommy. Techno had to have taken him against his will, he didn’t believe that Tommy would willingly stay with that _monster._

He had work to do.

Straightening his tie, and holding his head high, Tubbo took inventory one more time. Folding up the small note he was still gripping tightly in his hand, he tucked it into his suit pocket. 

He’d get Tommy out, and make sure he’s safe, and everything would go back to being good, and neat and perfect again.

It had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me; People need to realise how badly Fundy has been through it, and that he deserves to be treated better!!  
> Also me; *emotionally damaged Fundy* Hm?
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and are doing well!! I promise, we'll get to the comfort part of the hurt/comfort soon, we just gotta get through a liiiitle more angst first.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! Thank you so much for reading my story! It's my first fic in a while, so apologies if its not the best. If you enjoyed this, and wanna see some tma fics, you can find me on tumblr @/vanilla-and-tea.


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